The Church of Causes

I want to start this by acknowledging that I knew this day was coming but did not know exactly what it would look like. We have been living in a time that many would call the age of denominations. People once clung to their denomination and shunned all others. We see it in our little town where there are only three churches and none of them work together. It's a very odd, old-school way of thinking. It was interesting to trace some of these rivalries back almost two hundred years. Who knows why it began- theological perspectives, church polity, politics. But, we are coming into a time when pastors and denominational leaders are not as concerned about following the denominational policies.

A good example is that I was at my dad's church last weekend. It's a presbyterian church. I grew up Presbyterian and appreciate the traditions of the church. However, the men in a particular Bible study believed there was no longer a need for the Presbytery- in a Presbyterian church! They wanted to have autonomy- similar to Southern Baptists. This is going on in churches all over the country. When we were in our church planting class last year many of the newly approved pastors admitted they were not going to teach Wesleyan theology or stay with Wesleyan policies even though the Wesleyan church was sponsoring them. The surprising thing is the denominational leaders approved of it.

So, where does this leave us? Several years ago I attended a church conference where the leaders were talking about affinity groups. These have a different feel than denominations because denominations were based on theology and doctrine as a uniting factor. In our culture people are more drawn together around particular causes- from environmentalism to Africa. Theology and doctrine are seen as pretty much the same regardless of the name on the front of the church. Even though there are vast differences between denominations in beliefs of baptism, salvation and sanctification many people are more concerned with style of worship and the causes a particular church supports.

Church leaders tend to gravitate towards this because it can take some pressure off of more traditional discipleship (personal Bible study, prayer, spiritual disciplines such as fasting and silence, and accountability). Instead of using the Bible we are fed conventional wisdom from rock stars and celebrities (Bono, Oprah, George Harrison). Attending church can feel no different than attending a rally sponsored by ONE or a U2 concert. It can actually be significantly more boring and less fulfilling.

So, righteousness is seen in the passion for a particular cause and how much you are willing to support it- through wearing shirts, bracelets, having a background on your blog or myspace and actual giving. We have exalted our causes over Christ. It is easy to take whatever cause is popular for a particular community and tag on a Bible verse. But, this is not just happening in churches it is also happening in politics. Nancy Pelosi (the Speaker of the House), this week, used scripture to fit her particular theology. She talked about our taking care of the environment as an act of worship. Many of those running for office have made clear that they are Christian, as opposed to some other faith (which will be another post), and have shown how Jesus would support them. It is really embarrassing.

I guess the Church is continuing to evolve and will continue to change. I believe in raising awareness (I was talking about Darfur long before it became trendy) and I support several different causes myself (I don't want to be seen as a heretic after all). But, I also like being a part of a church that teaches discipleship as becoming like Jesus that transforms us from the inside out. Causes do not change our hearts- only Christ can. Causes alone will leave us empty and our message powerless.

A Wasted Life...

There have been times in the past few months where I honestly believed I had lost faith. I felt like a pragmatic agnostic. I knew God existed but I'm not so sure if he cared about me. Nothing in the past year has gone according to plan. So, I thought if God had turned his back on me then I would return the favor. I was going through the motions of a loyal servant knowing in my head that my emotions were not right but I could do nothing about my heart. I was as lost as I've felt in a long time and alone. I had been burned out on the institutional church and continued to be disappointed. I knew my bitterness and anger had reached a breaking point when I wanted to basically tell God...well, something that would be inappropriate here. I was driving in my car to pick Tayler up from school and an older song came on the radio. It was "wake me up inside" by Evanescence. The words hit me hard- it probably sounds cheesy but the phrase "save me from the nothing I've become" just rang so true. I felt like I had become nothing doing nothing. I felt if I had disappeared I would barely be noticed. I know every person struggles with feelings of insignificance and this was my time.

It's been a long time since I've been pruned. Church had become comfortable to me- a routine. I was more comfortable with the routine of the Church rather than the being confronted by the Person of Christ. I did my duty, lead the Bible studies, said the prayers, offered counseling and hopefully inspired others to follow Christ. However, my heart had been wrapped in fear, worry and doubt for far too long. I was talking with a friend of mine who is a youth pastor and he said working with jr. high kids is good because they tend to just beleive and not question their faith. He figured we should follow their example sometimes. For me, I've stuffed the questions down for so long. I toed the company line with whatever particular church I was serving. Just in the past few years have I started really questioning and seeking real answers regardless of what is "acceptable". I want to get to the truth- and yes, I can handle it (I hope). I started wondering about what I really believed about the Bible, God, Jesus, Christianity, salvation, baptism, the Church and prayer. I even interviewed with a church and was able to discourse orthodox Christian beliefs. However, the truth of my struggle came out when I preached.

I am at a strange place in my journey. I feel a sense of loss and have, until recently, sensed very little hope. One of my greatest fears is to live a wasted life. I don't want to be searching for answers only to come to the end of my life and see that I was too afraid to move forward. One of my friends rebuked the spirit of fear over my life. I appreciate his prayers and have sensed more hope since then. But, I have to be honest and say that I am still at a place of confusion- which is probably exactly where God wants me to be. I just don't want to be at this same place in five or ten years stuck asking these same questions.Brian